A Change at Christmas

So we all have memories of the perfect Christmas.  As December rolls around the Christmas spirit creeps in and we start watching Christmas movies, looking forward to no school, and baking so many treats, there is no way anyone will eat them all.  We all have an idea of what December should look like as we lead up to Christmas.  Unfortunately, there are times when the ideas and plans that we envision about something, get changed.  Change....we all hate it.  If it didn't have 6 letters, it would be the worst 5 letter word you could think of!
For us the change wasn't just Christmas, its been the whole last 4 months.  None of what we have done in the last 4 months was on our radar.  But as Christmas began to roll in, and schedules for chemo treatments began to be made, we were soon fearful that even Christmas wouldn't be the same.
December started with me getting my port put in on the 1st.  It was a small, quick, home-by-lunch surgery, but a surgery none the less.  I went back to work the next day and worked all week.  I was super tired, and on guard not to get hit or squeezed, but made it through the week fine.
The second week of December, was when chemo started.  December 8. Despite my nervousness, I slept great.  
One thing that was super important was that I get the right amount of numbing cream on my port at the right time so that it wouldn't hurt when they accessed it.  Even a week after getting it put in, my port was still VERY sore.  So the cream was essential!
We had to be there by 10am. Kim came over and rode with us, as she was going to be trained by Lizzy, the ColdCaps lady on how that would all work. Once we got there we realized, Mondays are a busy chemo day!  We sat in the waiting area for about 40 minutes before they ever called us back.  I began to worry that my numbing cream wasn't working, or it was going to wear off by the time we got started.  We tried to ask the nurse about it and he popped off with a comment about how all my family was making me anxious and I would be fine.  At this point the tears came, but just for a minute.  He was wrong...my family wasn't doing anything to make me anxious! I was anxious because he was going to stick a needle into the most tender place on my body at that point and I wanted to know that it was going to be numb!(I'm yelling these words at him in my mind, just so you know!) So, we put more cream on and hoped for the best....and wished we were back at Baylor Waxahachie!
Now, I will say we overwhelmed the staff there when we came in with all of our bags, and blankets and our ice chest full of ChemoCaps!  We were quite the spectacle!  And, in their defense, it had not been properly communicated to this end of the building that we were coming with so much stuff and so many people!  The chemo rules clearly state only 1 person can be in there with the patient, and I had 3:)  They didn't like that much, but we all made some concessions and agreed to play nice, and worked it all out.
So they got my port going and started the drip and all was good.  I didn't feel a thing.  The ChemoCaps weren't bad either.  The first one was super cold and gave me a headache but only for a minute or 2.  The worst part about those are the strap that has to go under your chin to cinch it down. Now the rest of me was super cold, but I took my heated blanket and a fleece blanket to go over that, so I was just fine:)  Im pretty sure everyone else in there thought I was CRAZY! One guy asked if I was getting my hair done...Why yes I was!  
We were there until 4:00, a little longer the first day than other days will be.  I never felt bad while getting the "poison" and I felt fine when I went home.  I went to work the next day and worked all week.  However by Thursday I started to feel the side effects.  I was nauseated, even though I was taking Zofran,  I had the chills, my body ached, I had no appetite, my tongue was numb, nothing had flavor and my insides just burned.  Friday was mostly the same.  Saturday, I didn't feel good when I got up but by about 2:00 we decided to go shopping.  We over did it that day and stayed out until 11:00...bad idea!  I had a meltdown when we got home because everything in my body hurt and burned.  It was bad.  I began to wonder if this was what the entire 18 weeks was going to be like!  That's the thing about the first round, no one can tell you what is going to happen or how long it will last, because everyone is different. Sunday morning we got up and went to church, even though I still felt and looked like death!  I went to bed worried about how I was going to make it through school the next day.
Monday I woke up a new person!  I felt good!  I still didn't have much of an appetite but I could work around that!  That day was the last day of school before Christmas break, and the beginning to each day getting better. I still had to go every Monday for my Herceptin, but that doesn't have the side effects Big chemo has.  
By the time Christmas week rolled around I was feeling pretty normal and could savor spending time with family and celebrating the birth of the Savior who saves me every day! I was fortunate to get to teach our Sunday school lesson the week of Christmas.  It was about change and how without change there would be no Christmas story.  The lesson focused on Joseph and the change that he had to go through.  Here was a young, teenage boy, legally engaged to a girl, who is pregnant.  Joseph knows he isn't the father, so what is he to believe?  In this day, it would be reason to have Mary Stoned to her death.  But God sends an angel to assure Joseph that Mary has been faithful and to tell him the Good News!  Joseph was going to be the father of Jesus Christ, who would save the entire world from their sins!  But I'm guessing he was still a little stressed out and overwhelmed by this news.  I have a feeling that he still second guessed, and wondered why him?!  
But Joseph believed the message that God sent, and followed the plan laid out for him.  Even though there were hard days ahead, Joseph trusted that each day God was going to show up and lead the way.  
As we deal with our own daily changes(big and small), We have a choice to make.  We can doubt, be mad, and wallow in our pity and pain, or we can have the trust of Joseph, that God will show up each day with His perfect plan.  I choose to find comfort in this change so many years ago, that inconvenienced many people, yet occurred so that we could be forgiven, saved, and promised an eternity with the One who started it all!  My prayer is that you can too!