An Empty Nest

So as of tomorrow both of our girls will be in school! Hard to believe that this day has come so quickly. Morgan has been talking about school since the spring, practically wishing each day of summer away so she can go to Kindergarten! Makinley on the other hand has been avoiding any conversation regarding school!
Thursday night was Meet the Teacher at all GPISD schools so while I had to work at my own campus, Corey took the girls to meet their teachers and check out their classrooms. The girls came home talking it up. While Makinley's best friend is not in her class, she did get the teacher that she wanted. Morgan was happy all around, she was just happy to walk through the doors I think.
Makinley's teacher is someone that I know from workshops and meeting in the district and I am very happy with her placement. Morgan on the other hand, got someone that I don't know. Not that I doubt this woman's abilities! I am confident that she will be a wonderful teacher, but I am going forward into the unknown at this point! With Makinley, she started school with me. On her first day she came to my school, and walked down my hall, and went to a teacher's classroom that I knew. With Morgan, I don't have that luxury.
So, last night I was talking with Corey after the girls had gone to bed, asking him about Morgan's teacher. Was she young, did her classroom look fun, did she seem excited...typical things that I would consider when I walked in to meet a teacher. He kind of laughed at me because he obviously didn't consider all of these things as intensely as I would have! Then he said something about the school having a "Boo-Hoo Breakfast" for the moms after dropping off their Kindergartners and laughingly asked if I would be attending. That is when the breakdown occurred! I will admit, not that it will surprise any of you, but I had my own "Boo-Hoo" moment right there while folding clothes! It caught Corey and I both of guard. I so didn't see it coming! Corey started laughing at me again, of course, not in a mean way, but in a "Why are you doing this" way. So of course that made me cry even more. I don't really know what got into me, but the thought of the "Boo-Hoo" breakfast just sent me over the edge! All of a sudden I felt insecure about dropping my child off with a virtual stranger, her having to go all day with out me checking in on her, AND having to ride the church bus on her first day of school. It all came slamming down on me at once. Corey continued to struggle with why I was having these feelings, when this is my "business"! This is what I do. I am on the receiving end of this scenario as a teacher. Tomorrow I will spend my morning walking new students and parents to classrooms, where I will assure them that they are going to have a great day. So why is it so hard for me to take my own advice? I think its because my emotions aren't involved when I am coaching someone else through this! When it's my own kid, it's different!
So this is where I ask for prayers in the morning. Not so much for Morgan, because she has NO anxieties about school! But for me, because while I will NOT be attending a "Boo-Hoo" breakfast at the school, I will probably have my own "Boo-Hoo Breakfast" in the car as I drive to my own school! At this point I just hope I can make it out of the building before the boo-hooing begins! I surely don't want anyone to think that I am one of those crazy, sappy moms...(some things you have to keep under wraps!)